Where Have All the Rapiers Gone?
by Tsuna 4 Cn4s
Summary: Before an important meeting with their Feroxi allies, Chrom and his queen/tactician, Silvani, check the weapon room for supplies. Things do not go as planned.


**Author's Note: You will not find this half so funny unless you are familiar with the tune/words of the ****_Veggietales Silly Song; Where Have All the Staplers Gone? _****. If you like using YouTube, than I beg of you to make a quick search for the original song and keep it in mind while you read this. It's sure to make you laugh!**

**The words of the "song" are written in italics.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****_Fire Emblem: Awakening_**** or the original lyrics to this song.**

••~••~••~••~••

_"We don't have much time before the big meeting."_ Chrom remarked causally, glancing up at the blue sky. The sun was already almost at noon.

_"No, no, we don't,"_ Silvani agreed distractedly, swiftly searching several different cupboards._ "Have you seen the polishing wax?"_

_"It's in the bottom drawer."_

_"I tried that drawer, but they're there no more."_

_"That's odd; I know I thought for sure..."_

_"Have you seen Ricken's cape?_

_"It's right next to the tomes."_

_"That's what I thought but now it's not. I guess I should have known..."_

The two rulers looked at each other in confusion. These things that they had listed had never gone missing before. Why so suddenly? And where were they now?

Before they had even realized what they were doing, they began voicing these questions. As it so happened, they both asked each other in perfect harmony.

_"Where have all the rapiers gone?" _Chrom wondered, gesturing towards the empty wall.

_"What happened to our fire tomes?" _Silvani demanded, staring at the desolate bookshelves.

_"The Vaike's axes are gone again..."_

_"They're gone again?!"_

_"The assassins all have lost their picks!"_

For a moment, their voices faded as each made another desperate search of the room. Yet nothing could be found.

When they finally gave up, a heavy feeling of sorrow and loss settled in their chests. Silvani sighed sadly, and leaned her head exhaustedly against Chrom's shoulder.

_"Do you remember when..." _She couldn't finish her sentence, as a sob escaped her lips.

_"The healing staffs were in their place?"_ Chrom finished gently.

Silvani nodded. _"In the middle drawer..."_

_**"Middle drawer, middle drawer!"**_

Came the invisible chorus.

_"Broken bows easy to replace..."_

_"Yes, there were always more..."_

_"Streams of elixirs raining down."_

_**"Raining, raining down!" **_

Again the chorus interjected.

_"Silver swords a plenty..."_

_**"We're lethal!"**_

_"New lances of every kind."_

_"I remember; Never less than twenty-five!"_

_"Oh, where have all the rapiers gone?_

_"What happened to our fire tomes?_

_"The Vaike's axes are gone again,_

_"They're gone again!_

_"We've run out of bronze sticks!"_

Suddenly, the man and woman's thoughts took a dark, depressing turn. Silvani looked around at their empty shelves and walls.

_"Someday my father will come..."_

_"We should've have hired Castor..."_ Chrom mentioned with a sigh. Silvani had no idea what he was referring to, so simply ignored him and pressed on.

_"Someday he'll find more of..."_

_"That wall needs some plaster."_

_"Someday my father will come-"_

_"Where's the Frederick when you need him?"_

_"Someday he'll find more of-"_

_"I just saw Henry; is that a Risen limb?"_

The two paused and gave each other funny looks. Then, they again burst simultaneously into song.

_"Where have all the rapiers gone?_

_"What happened to our fire tomes?"_

_"The Vaike's axes are gone again,_

_"They're gone again!_

_"Our mages have all lost their books..."_

With a final, sorrowful look around the barren weapon room, the king and queen closed the wooden door behind them. Though they couldn't help asking just once more,

_"Where have all the rapiers... gone...?"_

"Uh... Chrom? Silvani? Are you two okay?"

The two young adults looked up in surprise to find Basil?io and Flavia staring at them, their faces white in terrified confusion.

"T-the khans! You're a-already here?!" Silvani stuttered in embarrassment.

"Yes!" Chrom said with equal emotion. "How long HAVE you been here?!"

Before the two rulers could answer, Lucina ran over to the group. With a polite, princess-like bow, she quickly greeted the khans before turing to her parents. "Mother! Father! Were you just in the storage room? Oh, I hope you weren't worried when you noticed all of the supplies gone. The other future Shepards and I decided to pitch-in and clean them for you; as a sort of surprise. But I suddenly realized that, if you were to walk into an empty weapon shed, you might be alarmed. You weren't, were you?"

It took several moments for either of her parents to nod their heads in understanding. "Oh, that's good! Well, I can see you're on your way to your meeting, so I'll just go help putting everything back." And with that, Lucina jogged off to assist her friends.

The four adults stood in silence for several moments, before Basilio broke it with a strange request. "Can you sing that tune again?"

The four rulers headed off toward the castle, their voices carrying the song.

_"Where have all the rapiers gone?_

_"What happened to our fire tomes?_

_"The Vaike's axes are gone again_

_"They're gone again!_

_"Chrom and Silvani need a vacation!_

_"Where have all the rapiers... gone...?"_

**• {The End} •**

**(: Thank you for reading! Please review! :) **


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